Sober Suzy, Sober Driver....

Well if there was going to be a test of my will and courage it was lastnight. A Saturday night full of celebrations and events surrounded by drinkers and people trying to break me... make me start my 13 days over tomorrow. A group of my girlfruends and i headed to a vineyard for an event luckily for me i had a pregnant friend to keep me company as we sipped our llbs and watched those around us indulge, it was surprisingly liberating being sober, not having to keep eyeing up my wineglass and how it was and weather it was obvious i was outdrinking my friends. As one of my gfs started to slip into oblivion i realised that was usually me. As the night wore on i dropped of friends and heading to the next function greeted by very drunken men, one being my hubby... wheels were falling off left right and centre and man did i cop it from some when they realised i was sober! But i didnt cave i kept thinking about how much better i was going to feel today than them. The night ended with me delivering various people home, stops at bk but here i am! I feel empowered and in control... fucked off i woke up with a shitty headcold so not quite as perky as i was hoping but... atleast i dont have a hangover to go with it. Now that would be complete arse! Another successful weekend behind me... so if your reading this blog and in your early stages... kia kaha people. Stand strong stay focussed
.... stay true to urself. Fuck Wolfie and hus mates and realise if others try to crack u.... they just need time to adjust and its about them. Not you ;) happy sunday x

first pub outing

Lastnight i had my first outing to a pub with friends... usually id be chomping at the bit to have a drink, would probably have nailed a few before heading out... it was a new experience all together and i surprisingly found it relatively easy... i asked for a soft drink in a wine glass which ive discovered having a wine glass in my hand if half my attraction to booze. I love having a fancy, classy glass in my hand. The range of wine labels on bottles did catch my eye and a few bottles of red tried to wink at me but i totally dissed them! So there we have it. A night in the pub with a soft drink in a vino glass followed by a peppermint tea to wrap up the night! Holy shit thats a turn for the books! And i feel stoked. I am definitely starting to come out of my haze created by booze and my body is thanking me. I have way more energy, im less irritable, dont snap so much at my kids.... my skin broke out when i stopped drinking, i think it was the toxins coming out .... my tummy had been quite bloated and i was starting to get a bit of a gut i couldnt suck in... its starting to flatten out a bit and is less tender.  I cant wait to see how my body responds to longer off the sauce!

No craving yet...

I have officially made it through a week without a drink! This time lastweek i was beating myself up after drinking the equivalent of 2.5 bottles of wine.... how i hated the fact my quiet drinks with a friend ended up like that! I was not in a good space and the next morning made the decision to quit the booze. So here i am on the road to self discovery armed withmy inspiration... quality books such as Mrs D is going without and nearly done with Jason Vale's book... these books have helped me shift my perspective and have literally keep my tank full! I already feel so much more full of life and sparkle... Now the haze is clearing im starting to feel disgusted and highly embarrassed looking back on some of my boozy behaviours but i cant change it so best not look back but continue to look forward.... I was worried once id finished Jasons book i would be a bet lost but ive stumbled across so many intriguing and motivating blogs that i know i wont be alone... this fills me with a sense of hope and happiness to help me on my way.... yay to not boozing! It feels great!

Sat night sober...

Very Random to be sitting here on a sat night without having any wines. By now I would have nailed my 2nd bottle of wine... Hubby came home with 2 mates before heading out for a few drinks. I didnt feel any pangs,  I even dropped them off in town. (Would never have been able to before due to drinking too much) ,
. As ive said its not about anyone else and their habits, it's purely about mine! My husband dosent drink very much at all he is one of those drinkers who can take or leave it! Man do I wish I was wired like that and not so bloody compulsive! Reality is... Im not so suck it up sweetheart and deal with it. Im feeling good although i have my fair share of knockers who cant understand why id give up drinking! They dont think ill make it but the fuckers can wait and see. I think this in itself will help to motivate me... It is very early days, lets be honest its only day 5 since i last drank. I feel good, motivated and inspired but i wont lie and say im not worried the novelty will wear off. Fingers crossed it dosent!

Day 4 Friday night Drinks

Wow, this Friday night is playing out mighty different to last friday. I went to the gym just like last friday but i am not on the wines and going to end up shit faced at the pub with the girls, not knowing how it going to end, how i got home, i wont be waking up with a hell of a hangover having to fake my way through Saturday for the kids. I wont be fighting the urge to vomit all day and then backing it up again on the sat night. OH NO I WONT BECAUSE IM SOBER IM NOT DRINKING AND WINE CAN SIMPLY.... GET FUCKED! Go me! Feeling healthy feeling proud... however this headache can fuck off with its mate wine! Thats getting annoying!

Day 3 and still going

So it's day 3 and i've woken up after successfully not drinking. I feel proud of myself as my aunty and mum arrived yesterday armed with bottles of wine for the 5pm snacks and vino time that often takes place here at the beach. I looked at mum and told her i wasn't drinking. She looked a little stunned and disappointed and made the comment. "Really?" Bugger i was looking forward to a drink tonight.." i responded with " that's fine, you still can but i am sick of being a lush and hoing to give up for atleast a 100 days". I felt a bit nervous saying it out loud. Not going into too much detail i gave a brief overview of a few positive reasons why i was not drinking and both said "good om you girl". Now the funny thing with this situation as that mum has often discussed my drinking habits and how i need to get a grip of it. As has my dad, my aunty also has issues with booze. To be fair my whole family have always been massive boozers. I grew up where booze was always around social occassions always included it. I know my Dad has struggled with it, a fit highly motivated man who works his arse off but ended the day with half a dozen beers if not more every day of his life.... he has talked to me about at times where he's been worried about me after one of my shockers. In fact Dsd managed to go cold turkey when he started developing health issues (apparently un related to drinking too much... but mum and I have always thought there was a link and Dad was too embarrassed to admit it.) So it's pretty obvious to me i come from stocks of alcohol dependent people. Time to bresk free amd break the cycle. I DO NOT WANT MY BEAUTIFUL INNOCENT CHILDREN TO BE GOING THROUGH THIS IN THEIR LIFETIME! So today that is my motivation to not give up and give in! However its not today or tomorrow I'm worried about. It's the social occassions, invites for catch ups over wines, all the situations that involve other people keen to have a few drinks and their reaction when i say no thanks... its the busy full on working when hubbies nowhere to be seen and i walk in the door unpack the kids, start dinner do homework, plan for the next day. All those hardcore busy jobs where id kill for a wine to make it more enjoyable.... that my friends is where my very rubbery arm will be tested and tried to be twisted.

Feeling a sense of clarity!

Im currently on holiday at the beach with my babes and the sun is shining and the sky is blue! We have started the day ahead with our 5.5km morning walk and im feeling fresh without a skinful of booze that im trying to walk off! I feea sense of clarity, freshness and lightness. Im feeling motivated and excited about my new adventures. I wont lie, im scared shitless too that im going to give in to temptation as wine calls my name but... I am in control of this journey! Me and only me. I cannot blame anyone if i fail only myself! Whats the saying... if its to be its up to me! I will stay focussed and i will stay ... the boss of the booze!

Today is day 2 of my sober journey, I know I've had an issue with my drinking ever since I was in my teens. You see I'm what you call a 'Go Hard'... With everything I do I give it heaps and Go hard. This unfortunately also applies to the way i drink. I am in my early 30s, married with 2 gorgeous kids. I work full time in the Education field. Known as a sporty spice, excercise has been a huge part of my life and i live a relatively well balanced life. Until the urge to have a few drinks takes hold and its never just one! Ive found i have heavy weeks and quieter weeks but one constant is that i'm always thinking about drinking! I am sick of it consuming my life. I am positive there is so much more out there than a life dictated to by booze. A cycle of not drinking, feeling proud, rewarding myself, over indulging, feeling guilty and embarrassed, feeling hungover and ill, recovering and then doing it all over again!
I am a sloppy drunk, im thd girl who ends up falling over, never remembering the end of the night... the one my more sober friends end up 'looking after'. The one my husband dreads going out with because he can predict the end ( or mid way through the night). It's not a pretty site and I'm actually over always being the arsehole of the party! - I watched a story on Mrs D and her blog Mrs D is going without. It hit home, I had so many aspects in common regarding my drinking habits, my thought process, my family life and it helped me admit I too have the same issues and something has to change. Ive been inspired by Lottas book and the blogs of others so here I am. Keen to join the sober community and start my journey on the sober train. I'm scared shitless but i've made a commitment to myself that I need to sort this out. I'm hoping that blogging and reading will also help me like it has lots of others stay inspired to stay sober! Wish me luck! No more beersies for me. Although it should be no more winesies seeing thats the poision causing my inner angst!